You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf them

“You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf them” - Jon Kabat-Zinn

I love this quote because it reminds us that life is full of ups and downs, highs and lows. No matter how hard we try to control or avoid the difficult times, they will still come our way.

But how we manage difficult situations is key, and the power lies in our response. We can choose to focus on the pain and suffering, or we can learn how to use it as an opportunity for growth. We can choose resilience and optimism over defeatism and pessimism.

We can start by reframing our thoughts. When a challenging situation arises, take some time to acknowledge the difficulty of it but then focus on the positive aspects. Try to see it as an opportunity for growth, rather than something you must simply endure. I know this is difficult to do especially when you're in the middle of a difficult situation, but it can help to change your perspective. With practice ( and that's a lot of practice!) it will become easier.

Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed and think that things have to be perfect. There are always going to be bumps on life's road and things will never go completely as planned. Accept it and learn how to move forward with courage and resilience. I try and smile my way through it and repeat the mantra, " you'll look back on this next week and laugh!"

Focus on the small wins and don’t be too hard on yourself. Celebrate your successes no matter how small they may be, just as you would celebrate someone else’s success. When we are our own cheerleaders, it helps to build a stronger sense of self-esteem and courage

Make plans, set goals, and be willing to fail in order to reach your desired outcome. There is a saying, “failure is not an option, it’s a requirement.” I think this means that the only way we can grow and succeed is through learning from our mistakes. No one has ever achieved something amazing without failure first.

At the end of the day, learning how to ‘surf’ life’s waves isn’t easy but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming either. With the right perspective, a healthy dose of resilience and optimism, we can learn to embrace life’s waves and use them to our advantage. 

If you are a fan of Jon Kabat Zinn here is a link to his book. 

https://amzn.to/3V9qEa6

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Beginners-Reclaiming-Present-Moment/dp/1622036670?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1669186101&sr=1-6&linkCode=ll1&tag=secondthoug08-21&linkId=4370abec23ee6ec365c5a713e6fe1b8f&language=en_GB&ref_=as_li_ss_tl

Please note, as an amazon associate, I may earn commission from qualifying purchases if you click through this link. There is no extra charge to yourself. Thank you for your support!

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Setting SMART Goals - How To Properly Set a Goal (animated)

 

If you want to succeed, you need to set goals. Without them you lack focus and direction. They also provide you with a benchmark to determine whether or not you're actually succeeding at them.

We all struggle sometimes to achieve our plans. And it's not that we lack the effort, but our goals are not structured efficiently. To accomplish your objective you need to know how to set it up properly. You can't simply say, "I wish I could make more money" and expect it to happen. A goal without a plan is just a wish. It is also important to recognize, that not all objectives are created equal. So, today I'll explain the SMART method of goal setting and how it will amplify your chances of actually succeeding. S stands for: Specific
Your goal must be clear and well defined. You can only get to where you want by defining precisely how you'll get there. M stands for: Measurable Tracking the progress of your goal is an important part of keeping you motivated. It allows you to set milestones that you can celebrate when you achieve them and reevaluate when you don’t. A stands for: Attainable Make sure that it's possible to achieve the dreams you set for yourself. Far too many people fall into the trap of setting impossible goals. While they may push you forward for a while, you will almost certainly end up giving up on them. Instead of being impossible, your goals should be challenging yet achievable. R stands for: Relevant Your plans should be relevant to the direction you want your life and career to take. A common issue we face, is having too many goals at the same time, or pursuing the wrong goals. Unless your plan is relevant to your overall life plan, achieving it may not accomplish anything. T stands for: Time bound This is one of the most important factors. You plans must have a deadline. If you don't set a time limit you have basically unlimited time to achieve your goals. But there's one last thing. Most people think that goal setting is a one time event. Like you set your goals once and you're done. However it's actually an ongoing process. It never ends. Your plans will need evaluation and revision so it's important to stay flexible.

How to Relax | Bryan Russell | TEDxKeene

 

Bryan Russel guides us through a state of relaxation. How can we learn to relax instead of learning to reduce stress? Bryan Russell has been inspiring people to live a better life through yoga for over a decade in a dozen countries. He established the Keene Yoga Center and lives locally with his wife and two year old son. He believes strongly that more people doing yoga equals a better world. He breaths every day while playing with the family, playing hockey, hiking or dreaming up his next project.

Turn Your Thoughts into Action

Do you have big plans for your life? Dreams that you want to turn into a reality? This is often easier than done, especially when you don't know how to start taking action in the first place. Below are some ways to help you more effectively turn your thoughts into actions, no matter how crazy they may be. 

Start By Making A Plan

Usually, when someone has a plan in their head, it can be a bit chaotic and maybe hard to see exactly how to get there. This is why you should start by making a physical, written-down plan of what you want to do. This will give you a better view of where to go to start. This will also help you to break your goals down into more manageable steps. Don’t think that just because you write a plan that it has to happen exactly that way either, as once you start to take action, you can come back and adjust your plan as needed. 

Stop Overthinking Everything

One of the reasons you may find yourself unable to turn thoughts into actions is probably because you are overthinking everything. The above step of making a plan should help you to clear up your overthinking a little bit as you write things down. But if it doesn't, other mental relaxation techniques like meditation, talking something out with others, and taking a deep breath can help you stop overthinking.

Figure Out What Is Stopping You From Taking Action

If you've done the two above steps but still can't seem to turn your thoughts into action, it's time to figure out why. Are you scared of failure? Too distracted? Waiting for the perfect time? Any of these can hold you back as you work to make your thoughts become a reality. If you leave them unchecked, you will never be able to take meaningful action. Once you discover why you can't seem to take action in your life, work through why and eliminate it from your life so that it is no longer a reason. 

Turning your thoughts into action is often easier said than done, especially if you aren’t sure where to start and are overthinking everything. The trick is, you need to figure out what is stopping you from turning your thoughts into action, cut out the overthinking, and start following a plan that you have written down—and before you know it, your thoughts will become actions!

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Analysis Paralysis

When was the last time you were faced with a decision in your life? How did you respond? Were you able to make a selection, or did you freeze up and not know which path to take? If so, you may have experienced something known as Analysis Paralysis. 

Analysis paralysis is a state of overthinking and over-analyzing a situation so that a decision or action is never taken, effectively paralyzing you. It can be caused by factors such as too much information, uncertainty, anxiety, or fear of making the wrong choice.

You spend so much time thinking, that you may make a decision a little too late. Worse, you may wait so long that your decision is made for you. 

When you are experiencing analysis paralysis, you may find that your mind is constantly going back and forth between the options, and nothing seems to stand out no matter how much you think about the situation. This feeling can be quite paralysing, especially when you are put on the spot. 

How Does It Work?

Analysis paralysis doesn't only appear during big decisions, it can appear during small decisions too. Usually, it happens due to an individual overthinking the situation beyond what is needed to make a selection. So not only can you experience analysis paralysis when deciding to make a career change, but also when it comes to choosing what to order at a restaurant. Either case can be difficult to overcome. 

When a situation has more variables, it can cause analysis paralysis more easily—and this is because you will require a large amount of information to research all of the possible choices you can make.

What Happens When You Have Frequent Analysis Paralysis?

Although experiencing analysis paralysis can happen to anyone, some people seem to experience it more often. This can result in them feeling stuck in their lives and not knowing what direction they want to go. Additionally, this may lead to depression and a loss of motivation. If you find yourself frequently experiencing analysis paralysis, it is important to take a step back and assess the situation.

How To Overcome Analysis Paralysis?

If you find that you are struggling with making decisions, there are a few things that you can do in order to try and overcome it

One method is to try and simplify the decision. This can be done by breaking it down into smaller chunks or by removing some of the options. for example, if you are trying to decide what to wear for your friend's wedding, you could narrow it down to two or three outfits instead of thinking about every single piece of clothing you own.

Another approach is to set a deadline for yourself. This will force you to make a decision and can help to ease the pressure that you may be feeling. It is important to make sure that the deadline is realistic, or else you may find yourself feeling even more overwhelmed.

You could also try flipping a coin. This may seem like a silly method, but it can help to take the pressure off of you. by taking away the responsibility of making the decision, you may find it easier to choose.

Lastly, you could try attending a support group. This can be helpful as it will allow you to share your experiences with others who may be going through similar things.

It is important to remember that you cannot please everyone all of the time. When making a decision, focus on what is best for you and don't worry about what others may think.

Why Aren't You REALLY Taking Action Toward Your Goals? - John Assaraf

What's preventing you from taking action even if you have the blueprint on what you really need to do? Is it fear? In this video, John Assaraf explained why people, in certain situations, don't take action towards their goals.
 

The Importance of Being in the Present Moment

It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We're always rushing from one place to the next, trying to get everything on our to-do lists done. But what if we took a step back and appreciated the present moment? After all, as they say, life is about the journey, not the destination.

Why Being in the Present Moment Is Important

There are a number of reasons why being in the present moment is important. For one, it allows you to appreciate the beauty in everyday life. 

For example, this morning on my way to work, I noticed the autumn leaves on the pavement. I was about to cross the road to avoid slipping on them when I noticed a lot of them were dry- ready to be crunched on! So, I decided to walk on them instead and take in their brittle beauty. The feeling and sound of them under my feet was so satisfying, that it transported me back to my childhood. It was such a small moment, but it had such a positive impact on me.

Being in the present moment is important because it allows you to connect with your true self. In this fast-paced world, it's easy to get lost in your thoughts and forget who you are and what you're truly passionate about. But when you take time to be present, you can connect with your authentic self and rediscover what's truly important to you.

Another reason why being present is important is it allows us to connect with our loved ones on a deeper level. When we're constantly rushing around and multitasking, we're not really giving our full attention to those who matter most to us. By slowing down and being present with our loved ones, we can create stronger relationships built on communication and connection.

Finally, being in the present moment can help reduce stress and anxiety. When we're constantly living in the past or worrying about the future, we're not able to fully enjoy the present. But when we focus on what's happening right now, we can appreciate all that we have and let go of any stress or anxiety that's weighing us down.

If you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts or rushing through your day-to-day tasks, take a step back and appreciate the present moment. Slow down and savour all that life has to offer.

These small moments can make a big difference in your overall well-being.

Photo Credit Photo by Omid Armin on Unsplash

I wish I had taken a photo this morning, but I was too lost in the moment!